2024 marks the 50th Jubilee of the Permanent Diaconate here in the Archdiocese of Denver. Through preaching, service, worship and prayer, deacons serve the people of God in uniquely special ways through their various ministries and lives. This article is one of a series of articles the Denver Catholic will publish in 2024 which will feature local deacons and/or a diaconal ministry. There are many Deacon Saints who were martyred for their faith. In this year of Jubilee, the deacons of the Archdiocese of Denver are asking for prayers through the intercession of Saint Deacon Martyr Euplius of Cantania. Learn more of this Deacon Saint here.
It is safe to say that the diaconate had never occurred to Deacon Tim Kilbarger when he was a parishioner of a large, 3,000-family parish in San Diego.
One day, out of the blue, his family and he got a letter telling them they belonged to a new parish, St. Thomas More, which had been newly established.
The small, new parish environment allowed Deacon Kilbarger to get to know Father Bob White, his pastor, and learn from him.
“One day, I was sitting there in one of his catechesis meetings, and I thought, ‘I could do that,’” Deacon Killbarger recalled. “But how could I do that? And then I realized that maybe I should go and become a deacon.”
Thus began his process of prayer and discernment, along with his wife, Judy.
In the middle of their discernment, his job transferred him to Denver. When they arrived at their new parish, also providentially named St. Thomas More, he saw an advertisement for upcoming diaconate discernment programs and took it as a sign.
Today, years later, Deacon Kilbarger serves Most Precious Blood Parish in Denver, serving and preaching at Mass, teaching various catechesis classes, working with annulments, and serving the homebound.
Beyond his parish ministry, Deacon Kilbarger has a unique ministry through his work with Courage and Encourage, two ministries related to the Church that are dedicated to those experiencing same-sex attraction and their loved ones.
“It’s a very emotional ministry,” he told the Denver Catholic. “It’s very difficult at times, but it’s very rewarding. We’re blessed to have these ministries.”
Deacon Kilbarger said that the core of Courage and Encourage is simple. “The main message is that the Catholic Church loves everybody, that God loves them above all else, and that they’re not alone. Oftentimes, they feel so confused, so afraid, they don’t know who to turn to or where to go, and that becomes an overwhelming situation.”
Amid that overwhelming situation, the Church and he can show support and encouragement, all while upholding the truth of the Church’s teaching.
“Normally, especially for the loved ones, it’s very difficult, very emotional. It’s very difficult because they don’t know what to do,” Deacon Kilbarger said. “They don’t know what to say to their child. They want to support them and love them, but at the same time, their child is doing something they know is not very helpful, or it’s going to harm them. They want to protect their child. How do you do that, though? Oftentimes, it’s a simple message of you’re not alone. There are people here that can be in communion with you and in solidarity with you and who can help you pray together and support you.”
The same message extends from loved ones to those experiencing same-sex attraction themselves, Deacon Kilbarger said. “They just want to live a holy life, and they just don’t know how to do that. Who can they turn to? How can they get help? That’s part of what the ministry is all about.”
Reflecting on his call to the diaconate and this particular, unique ministry, Deacon Kilbarger recognized Jesus’ call to “take up your Cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).
“For anybody who wants to be involved in the Church, it’s a matter of giving,” he told the Denver Catholic. “If you want to be involved in the Church, you have to sacrifice yourself. You have to be willing and to give and be willing to allow God to work in your life.”
He concluded that each person desiring to follow the Lord Jesus is called to a renewed, deep trust in the God who loves them so profoundly. “Just step forward and realize that, ‘Yeah, God is calling me to something special here.’ And this is what his plan is for me.’”
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For more information on the ministry of Courage and Encourage, visit https://couragerc.org/.