In a culture where women are encouraged to use hormonal contraceptives so they can freely express their sexuality, it’s hard to think family planning methods where “shutting off” your fertility even exist.
As science and faith work together, we’re presented with another option; one that recognizes the dignity and beauty of the woman and her fertility.
What is Natural Family Planning (NFP)? Simply put, Deacon Colin Coleman, NFP & Marriage Specialist at the Archdiocese of Denver, explained it as “looking at the woman’s cycle and knowing that, if they [the couple], have that openness to life, they know when they can conceive more easily. And if there’s a good, objective reason why they are wanting to postpone a pregnancy, they may know that as well.”
Christy Garbus, MSN, RN, and one of 4 partners at Big Life Integrative Health, a pro-life clinic recommended by the Archdiocese’s NFP program for holistic healthcare, finds profound beauty in the Church’s teachings on Natural Family Planning and helps couples to use it.
Garbus believes the theological component is what sets NFP apart from other fertility awareness methods.
“Working with your natural fertility actually protects the marriage relationship because it challenges the couple to invite God into the relationship and family planning process,” she told the Denver Catholic.
Those who are married know that the vocation requires sacrifice, Garbus shared, reflecting on the importance of healthy sacrifice in the Christian life and in NFP practice.
“I think a theological component that we’ve lost is recognizing that marriage is sacrifice and that NFP is a core principle of that because you’re choosing to abstain and sacrifice,” she said.
Among other benefits, Garbus says that practicing NFP as a couple can also lead to a lower chance of divorce.
“It’s really beautiful. When couples enter into NFP together with a mutual understanding and love, the divorce rate drops – because when you’re actively working to love your spouse and eradicate lust in your relationship and let God into the relationship, it solidifies the foundation of your marriage,” she shared.
While the Bible doesn’t explicitly talk about NFP, Deacon Coleman said we can look to the biblical theme of human dignity to understand the deeply theological component of the everyday practice.
“The Bible has always strongly spoken about the dignity of human life. It speaks about the respect and the beauty and dignity of women,” he said.
“Pope John Paul II even wrote a letter to women, highlighting the feminine genius,” he continued. “And the Catechism talks about responsibility and generosity when planning a family. It teaches us to be generous and open to life, but it also teaches responsible parenthood, because God may be calling you to not have children.”
A beautiful practice, Natural Family Planning often goes unknown, unpracticed and misunderstood. In fact, one of the main reasons couples don’t practice NFP is from a lack of understanding, Garbus said.
“A lot of people hear ‘NFP,’ but they don’t understand, because most of us aren’t really taught how our bodies work,” she said. “So a lot of couples get into marriage prep, and they’re told they have to take an NFP class, and so they’re first question is ‘Gosh, what is that? Why do I have to do it? And why does the Church have to be in my business?’
“Not everyone comes from a place of love when they’re learning this stuff, so it’s important to invite them in with love so that they learn and embrace it, because then we can invite them back to the Church. And we’re ensuring that this teaching is universal and streamlined across the board so that everyone is learning the same message of love,” she continued.
Deacon Coleman explained that where there is hesitation, there needs to be more of the ‘why’ behind Natural Family Planning.
“They’ve only heard the contraceptive story. They’ve seen the magazines with a beautiful young girl in a sundress in a field of wildflowers. Then you have this old deacon or priest saying you need to do NFP, and they’re going ‘Yeah. Right,’” he shared.
Since many people may are inundated with the contraceptive mindset of our present culture, it’s important to celebrate and embrace NFP, which encourages communication and mutual respect between couples.
Garbus approaches her ministry with grateful for the couples she encounters in her classes.
“I teach marriage prep and I encounter couple after couple who are only in my class because they have to be in order to get married in the Catholic Church, and I get the opportunity to educate them on their bodies work and other options besides hormonal birth control,” she said.
“A lot of women also come in my class because they’ve been put on synthetic hormones or the pill for medical issues they’re trying to treat, and they weren’t presented with any other options. So I teach how we can embrace your fertility and work with it instead of against it,” she concluded.
Why is the revitalization of Natural Family Planning necessary? According to Garbus, it’s because we are no longer living in Christendom.
“The ‘norm’ has become that everyone is contracepting and living together before marriage,” she said, reflecting on the apostolic age in which we find ourselves. “Where we used to encounter couples that were excited to learn and understand their fertility, now we’re coming across couples who are inundated with the norms of culture, and they’ve lost the desire to learn.”
In short, in a world in which people are inundated with messages contrary to the truth of the human person, the beauty of the Church’s teachings on humanity, sexuality, marriage and family need to be proclaimed anew.
“Trust that the Church loves you and wants you. I think we’ve forgotten that each one of us is very good and very beautiful, and we have incredible dignity,” Deacon Coleman concluded, sharing a reminder to couples preparing to be married. “So, for a couple getting married, my encouragement would be that NFP is a great tool for a man to see the beauty of his wife. And NFP is a great tool for the woman to see her beauty and her dignity.”
For more information about Natural Family Planning and to find a class near you, visit https://archden.org/eflm/nfp/